Gold Coast to Landsborough - Mar 18

Summary: self portrait issues, rednecky car coming to America, Surfer’s Paradise view from the top, XXXX, odd sweat pattern ya got there, Landsborough primer, Sunshine Coast preview
Last night, I was dressed up for probably the last time in Australia – hey we were at a sweet resort, it was a holiday of sorts (St Patty’s Day), nice dinner options abound… it was worth going for it. So I thought, let’s take a photo. First off, when you are the only adult in the group (and the only awake one), any smile will look fake or drunk and despite my Irish heritage & the spirit of St Patrick, I was not the latter. Then there is the issue of taking the photo at arm’s length vs. with a timer. Lastly, when you use the timer, where do you set the camera? Yes, that is the bathroom. Throw in the expression (fake smile or laughing at the situation, you decide). Let’s just say this was my only and hopefully last self-photo session.

As proof that the major car companies are reading this blog, I read this morning that Holden’s “utility vehicle” SS version will be exported to the US. No sooner do I describe the pickup cars as “rednecky” and Pontiac will be selling them back home. Looks like I better take more photos and we can look for Ford Falcon pickups too.

This morning, we fit in as much as we could before checkout time: free breakfast, monorail, beach walk, playground, hot tub…all well before 11am with time to spare. The photos give you the view from the monorail and more lizard shots. We then went to the Q Deck at the Q1 Tower. It was cool. The Q1 is the second building in Australia that claims to be the tallest residential tower in the world. Not sure if that is possible. We had some fish & chips and appreciated the statue on another beach just the other side of Surfer’s Paradise. That town name has a story worth retelling here – it was a town with yet another name that sounds like Yorkshire or whatever and the town council agreed years ago to switch it to “Surfer’s Paradise” on what became the burgeoning Gold Coast. Lo and behold, it was the center of the Gold Coast and the city name that people were drawn to. Now, instead of a string of surf shops and cheap restaurants it sports major high rises. Marketing matters – I love proof.

Anyhow, we drove up through Brisbane and Alex suggested we tour the XXXX Brewery. Brilliant move. The tour was far more detailed and fact-filled than most brewery tours (most can be summarized as “here’s the process, let’s drink some beer”). The thing I loved is that from the videos to the tour itself, they actually used the word “alcohol” unashamedly and happily pulled out old TV ads about how much more a man can do “with a few beers behind him”. You just don’t see that at home. My photo of an old print ad gives you a sense of what I mean. I’m not saying they support bad behavior, their tour just isn’t devised by lawyers as a drink driving sermon with 5 minutes on the actual beer making process. They’ve also got a cartoon “spokesmen” of sort named Mr Fourex who would be a hit in the US. School groups come through here as well, they just don’t get the tasting card with four X’s to punch. Sadly, with another 80km ahead of me, I did not get past halfway through any of the four. Fun fact - They produce over 2 million beers per shift not counting the kegs (this is in a country of 20 million, and based on what I’ve seen they are not the market leader outside Queensland, which has 4 million people). We got to see every detail of the packaging cans, kegs, & stubbies, labeling, packaging, and out the door – just like the old Laverne & Shirley intro in the 70’s - but no photos of that part are allowed.

Warning: graphic parental images in this paragraph. After the hour plus tour, we were just about to taste and I had been holding Alex the whole time (like a Koala). He was napping when we arrived and rather clingy throughout the tour. Background: he wears these thinner “Cool Alert” diapers to let him know he is wet so that he can hurry up and get as tired of wearing diapers as the rest of us are of changing them. The downside is that these diapers do not hold in excess moisture beyond a certain point. You know where this is going. We are just about to walk into the tasting room and his pants went from light green to dark green while everything south of my rib cage on the right was soaked. Eww and dammit! I think one person noticed, the others probably just thought I was sweaty from carrying him while walking around in 30 degree weather. That may also explain why I was rather concise with my tasting.

Southwest Australia had the tongue twister towns. There is a stretch of Queensland that has the funny names that are simply amusing to read. I can tell we are entering that region as we drove past Burpengary this evening – sounds like a bad nickname. There are lots more names like that to look for in the coming days. We also passed through another Virginia but I have long since given up on counting the personalized plates in Australia.

Anyhow, after four half beers (does that make my XXXX a Dos Equis? Sorry, my jokes don’t improve), we drove up from Brisbane to Landsborough. The drive was nice and then we got off on Steve Irwin Drive. This is a scenic road through the Glass Mountains and attractive in its own right. The Australia Zoo is actually between Beerwah and Landsborough (mailing address is Beerwah, but we’re talking 3 km away). The Landsborough Pines where we’re staying at is nice enough (little cabin, a duck pond, lots of birds on site) – mostly a caravan park but the units are fine. The one photo from here does deserve some explanation – a rather sedate looking family has rented a van with “Dirty Sanchez” written as bold as can be. Something tells me nobody has told them what it means – heck, I didn’t know until two loyal readers of this blog informed me a couple years ago. (theater types, what can I say?) There are lots of vans for rental (the company name escapes me) with carpe diem type sayings or song lyrics scrawled across them, but this one stands apart. Don’t google or wiki the term, just assume you don’t want to know. The walk into town for dinner was also a trip. It is a short walk, but it goes past this huge tree (maybe 25 meters) where every bird in Queensland meets up at sunset. This was so loud you could hear it well before you see it and we could see it for a ways. We had a very good dinner at the Landsborough Pub. This is a tiny country town on a humid late summer night like you’d find all across the South or the Midwest in the US. I think I have made it back into small town Australia and that should hold the rest of the week.

South of Brisbane is the Gold Coast. Due East of Brisbane are Moreton Island and North Stradbroke Island (my spelling may be off), making the Eastern suburb beaches less wavy and apparently less of a tourist destination. North of Brisbane is the Sunshine Coast. Above the Sunshine Coast, the tourism monikers seem to disappear. This may be because once you get north of the Sunshine Coast (and then Fraser Island), people who enter the water can disappear. “Crocodile Coast” and “Box Jelly Bay” do not sound as good to most people planning a vacation. (then again, several Queensland regions do have names like Deception Bay and Cape Tribulation) That’s OK, we like Queensland just fine. Just bear in mind that the water wants to kill you. No worries.

Next: Australia Zoo and get a room on the Sunshine Coast. Then kiss the water goodbye and sprint up to Cairns.